(Entries taken from the Oneironaut's Survival Guide, a mimeographed chapbook purported to have been written in 1977 by Jerry McElholn during his residency at the Rose Bay Psychiatric Hospital in Berkeley, CA.)

• In the event of a water landing, assume neutral buoyancy and sleeve yourself with feathers. The initial impact will undoubtedly be jarring and may result in disorientation. However, the dynamism of the fluid is temporary, and the oneironaut is best protected by becoming a duck for the duration of the chaotic instability.
  
  
• In the event of a visit from a deceased father figure, refrain from addressing the phantom directly or otherwise acknowledging its presence. While such denial may not banish the haunt, it will delay its attachment to your psyche, thereby allowing you the opportunity to craft an Oedipal Loop. The re-iterative construct will captivate and nullify the phantom. Remember to bind the Oedipal Loop once the father figure has entered the sequence so the psychic expression of the ghost will continuously regenerate the loop. Self-sustaining prisons are always the best kind.
  
  
• In the event of narcolepsy, enjoy it. Narcoleptic dreams are always dream-less, which is laudable.
  
  
• In the event of an encounter with the animal kingdom, quickly assess the domestication of said beast. If it appears to be responsible to voice commands and has more than a passing fascination with kitchen appliances, barter with it. If it seems truly feral, run. Or fly. Or assume the shape of a tree stump. (Use the most readily accessible method of flight.)
  
  
• In the event of an onset of protean synaesthesia, take four ibuprofen, and take yourself to bed with a hot water bottle. Call your service provider as soon as the moon rises, and have on hand gold coins as payoff for the augury to be provided.